Life Is So IISD

Secret Garden

The orange evening sunlight shone up on every square meter of the park. There were children running around, screaming in excitement. People were running and cycling on the gray tracks. Those who could neither run nor cycle, mostly elders, were doing Tai-Chi on the green grass field. It was a crowded park. By some chance, the little bench at which I sat had escaped into the quiet world, as if I was not in the same world with them. But I wasnt alone here, for I was sitting next to her.

She looked at her pastel blue watch, which went really well with her pastel blue dress in my opinion, and closed the book that she was reading. She then put it back into her white duffel bag and stood up. She then turned around and looked at me. She gave me a smile, nodding her head a little, and walked away. I couldnt take my eyes off her until she went out of my sight.

I sighed. I didnt even have to look at my watch to tell the time. It was six oclock. I knew because this wasnt the first time she did this. It had been a week. A week of being in the quiet world with her. A week of silence conversation. A week of two hours a day with her, every evening. And I couldnt talk to her.

My ability to speak Thai was next to zero, after all.

I had been staying in Kanchanaburi as an exchange teacher since last month. I had always loved the summer in California. And when I heard that Thailand was just like California without winter, I couldnt help myself but apply to the exchange program. And it sounded nice, didnt it? The land of smiles... So what was the result of the perfect climate and the nice people? It was a perfect place to stay; and perhaps, maybe I would be able to speak Thai, too.

Now thats the problem. Speaking Thai.

It wasnt that I didnt try to learn the language or anything. My co-workers tried to teach me how to say Sawasdee Krab. That was the first and last Thai word they heard from me. I could recall their laughter and the heat in my face the humiliation. And when they saw my face turning red, their laughter got even louder. I was turned into a walking tomato just by a magic word Sawasdee Crap.

To be honest, Id like to laugh at them too every time they answered my question with yes yes yes even though they did not have a single clue of what I was talking about. Id like to laugh at them too when they said Goodbye to me with such a strong funny accent. Id like to laugh at them too when I asked them for something and they answered I no have.

And that was the reason why I didnt have the courage to talk to her neither in Thai nor in English. I didnt want to see her act like them. I couldnt stand myself laughing at her if I ever heard her speak English. And I couldnt stand myself listening to her laughter at my fruitless attempt to speak Thai.

So I chose silence for now.

I stood up and packed up my stuff. Then I started to head home. On the way home, I couldnt stop myself from thinking about her.

I first met her last week, after work. I was filled with despair, thinking that it might be a mistake coming to Thailand. It was four o clock, and the park was crowded with people. I looked around, finding a quiet place to sit and read my book alone; a place where no one would care about the color of my skin, the color of my hair and the height of my body. And that was when I found her. She was adjusting her long shiny black hair. The look of her honey skin went well with her slender body made my heart beat faster and faster. And even though my nose was filled with the smell of green grass, it was completely replaced by the sweet smell of jasmine from her.

I love her.

At first I didnt know what to do. I just sat there, and read my book. And it was like we were in a different world. The quiet world that no one could enter. My secret garden that only she was allowed to be with me. And at six oclock, she left, just like today. The idea of not getting to see her again weakened my heart. Thus, the following day, I came to the park again. And I was so happy that I could cry when I saw my angel sitting there.

I never stopped coming to the park ever since. I would finish all the tasks that I had before four. I denied all the invitations to dinner from my co-workers. Basically my schedule from four to six everyday was reserved exclusively for her. And every evening I would enjoy watching her reading in my secret garden.

Eventually I reached home, which was a school teacher house, by the way. I threw my stuff onto the bed, and sat down at my desk. I sighed, thinking of how cowardly I was at the park.

Maybe tomorrow I said to myself as I picked up a book from my drawer and put it down on my desk. The book was How to speak Thai in 168 hours. I picked up the CD that came with the book, and put it in my Walkman. As you may guess, I bought this book because of her after I first met her, to be more specific.

I listened carefully to what the person in the CD said, and repeated after him.

Sawasdee Krab. I said out loud, thinking about meeting her tomorrow.

The next day I was nervous, for I promised myself that I would talk to her today in Thai. Or at least say Sawasdee Krab. When I reached the school in the morning, one of my co-workers talked to me.

Today. Meeting. Four to six. You come ok? He said.

If you dont understand, heres the translation You must come to the meeting today from four to six.

I felt like he just slapped me in my face, stabbed me with a knife and hit my head with the Physics text book in his hand. He said a few sentences after that, but all I heard was blah blah blah or yaddha yaddha yaddha. I was too busy thinking about her to listen to his Thai-ish.

I entered the meeting with my soulless body. They were trying to talk in English, but all I heard was Thai-ish. I could tell that they werent comfortable discussing in English. Eventually they repeated every sentence again in Thai.

To me, it was like two years had passed by. I couldnt stop myself from checking the time every two seconds. And my heart sunk when I saw that it was six o clock. The time that I would watch her walked away from my secret garden. I stood up and asked to leave. They smiled and looked at each other.

I took that as a Yes, you can go and left the school.

My heart was beating fast. I could feel the heat in my body as I ran to the park, to the bench where my secret garden belonged. It was seven oclock. And when I reached the bench, my shirt was out of my pants, my face was red and I was soaked like someone just threw me a bucket of water. I was puffing and panting like an old steam engine. I stopped running, and started walking slowly toward the bench.

I had never taken any drugs and neither do I drink, thus I believe what I saw was not just a hallucination. And I didnt think the light from the lamppost next to the bench was playing trick on me. She was still there. The long black hair lady was still there with her white duffle bag. And as I walked toward her, she looked up from her book and looked at me.

There was silence between us, when her big brown eyes met the blue pair of mine. I had absolutely no idea how long it took me to say a word. But one word eventually slipped through my mouth.

Sawasdee Crap I said. And then my face turned red like a ripe tomato. I could hear how funny my accent was. I curled my hands into fists, closing my eyes, waiting for her to burst out into laughter. If my secret garden was going to be destroyed, then at least I didnt want a picture of how she destroyed it in my memory.

I think you no come

It was grammatically incorrect. And her accent was strong, word by word. But I didnt laugh. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was smiling. The same smile that she gave me every time she left my secret garden. The smile that I had never known what it means. But I understood it now. By seeing the book How to speak English in 168 hours in her hands, I knew it by my heart that she invited me into her secret garden.